My inner thoughts

6th October 2025 - 12:57pm Wow! I haven't updated for quite a while!... For those reading who struggle with any sort of limerence, I promise you it will eventually fade away and you won't give a single fuck about the person who is taking up all this space in your life, mind and soul. You will sometimes be reminded of this person but you will no longer feel the guilt and pain you associate with them. You will see them as a distant memory, their face hardly able to materialise clearly in your mind. Don't beat yourself up for having this obsession although it seems extremely ridiculous, it isn't your fault. Anyways, heres a short story I wrote that I would like to share :)

People watching: You study her from afar, her grown out, splotchy-red hair catching your eye. Her dark brown roots revealed the woman she tries to cover up. Her resting bitch face and vintage Dior sunglasses suppress the real her. She lights a cigarette, not without struggle. She tries to stop the wind from blowing out the flame. She groans in frustration when the flame goes out. Finally, its lit. She places her sunglasses on her head and takes a long drag of the cigarette. Before she closes her eyes, you notice how beautiful they are. Almost ocean like, a mix of green and blue, with long natural lashes to accompany them. She opens them again after a moment and glances over at you. She gives you a puzzled look. Sorry, people watching is my specialty.

20th June 2025 - 17:59: I wouldn't wish this feeling on my worst enemy. It's eating my fucking brain alive. I don't feel like getting into the nitty gritty I guess because each day I slowly get better but I miss him. Its so painful not being able to stalk his every move on socials and his every thought. Every day I get better. It will get better. That evil motherfucker and his grip on my brain. I literally carved his initial into my leg. Stupid fucking bitch now he's there forever. It will get better.

Moving on, I try to become friends with men and the same thing happens. They make me uncomfortable because of how quickly the conversation turns sexual. Im not completely innocent because I was entertaining this one guy because he was giving me nice compliments (god knows Im an attention whore). But sending me a video of him cumming on a picture of my face was not warranted. I literally feel like ive been violated. It almost made me cry but thankfully my meds won't allow me to do that I guess. I just want to be friends with a cool guy with similar interests like why is that impossible. I also got sent this guys boner but like I met him on a dating site so I guess I set myself up for that one. Only one guy left that isn't actually a complete freak and I can see myself being friends with him. He is a weirdo like me in a good way.

I guess I will update on how that goes. Bye for now.